-It is NOT our place to tell a young person when, whether, where, or how to come out. You are likely only getting a very small piece of their story. Only the young person themselves can determine if it is the right time to talk about their identity. Telling a young person they “should” come out can be dangerous emotionally and physically. They need to know what they’re sharing with you is confidential. In some states by law, youth service professionals are not allowed to disclose the sexual orientation or gender identity of their students to parents should they know it. It is best practice to follow the same law regardless of your location. Don’t put up another barrier to care for a population that is already at such high risk.
-Remember the heightened need for confidentiality. Outing a young person, intentionally or unintentionally can result in a host of issues including familial rejection, victimization, and homelessness.
-Sensitive topics need to be addressed carefully and unapologetically in easy-to-understand language. Using heavy jargon and advanced language may confuse the young person you are working with. Watch your body language, tone and infliction in your voice. If you are uncomfortable they will know.
-Use more inclusive questions and language: “Are you dating someone?” is more inclusive but achieves the same end without assuming the person’s orientation. A powerful message of acceptance is displayed when a straight ally referrers to their significant other as a “partner”. It invites young people to question the use of the word and can open up an opportunity for dialogue on inclusivity and your position as a straight ally. Move away from heteronormative expectations. I like to think of heternormativity as the idea that we are all “straight until proven gay”. By not assuming that everyone is straight we are sending a very empowering message to young people; people with LGBTQ identities are valuable part of society.
-Make your common areas visibly inclusive of LGBTQ persons: Display resources from LGBT organizations, Safe Space decals, welcoming and affirming posters to let young people know you are an ally. Keep in mind, displaying these symbols and images can become an open invitation to have a conversation with you about these issues. If you are not ready to have an educated conversations about issues of importance to LGBTQ youth it may be best to wait until you are comfortable.
