LGBT Education Forum — Working with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trangender and Questioning Youth

The Straight Privilege Checklist

by Meg Ten Eyck on November 27, 2011

The Straight Privilege Checklist is a tool to help straight folks understand the day to day life of a queer person. This list was adapted from several different sources and gives a clear idea of some of the issues that are very common in the LGB community.I encourage you to share this tool, with the people in your world in the hopes of facilitating some meaningful dialogue.

On a daily basis as a straight person…

I can be pretty sure that my roomate, hallmates and classmates will be comfortable with whomever I chose to date.
If I pick up a magazine, watch TV, or play music, I can be certain relationships similar to mine will be represented.
When I talk about my heterosexuality (such as in a joke or talking about my relationships), I will not be accused of pushing my agenda or lifestyle onto others.
I do not have to fear that if my family or friends find out about my identity there will be economic, emotional, physical or psychological consequences.
I did not grow up with games that attack my sexual orientation (IE f*g tag or smear the queer).
I am not accused of being abused, warped or psychologically confused because of my sexual orientation.
I can go home from most meetings, classes, and conversations without feeling excluded, fearful, attacked, isolated, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, stereotyped or feared because of my sexual orientation.
I am never asked to speak for everyone who is heterosexual.
I can be sure that my classes will require curricular materials that testify to the existence of people with my sexual orientation.
People don’t ask why I made my choice of sexual orientation.
People don’t ask why I made my choice to be public about my sexual orientation.
I do not have to fear revealing my sexual orientation to friends or family. It’s assumed.
My sexual orientation was never associated with a closet.
People of my gender do not try to convince me to change my sexual orientation.
I don’t have to defend my heterosexuality.
I can easily find a religious community that will not exclude me for being heterosexual.
I can count on finding a therapist or doctor willing and able to talk about my sexuality.
I am guaranteed to find sex education literature for couples with my sexual orientation.
Because of my sexual orientation, I do not need to worry that people will harass me.
I have no need to qualify my straight identity.
My masculinity/femininity is not challenged because of my sexual orientation.
I am not identified by my sexual orientation.
I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my sexual orientation will not work against me.
If my day, week, or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has sexual orientation overtones.
Whether I rent or I go to a theater, Blockbuster, an EFS or TOFS movie, I can be sure I will not have trouble finding my sexual orientation represented.
I am guaranteed to find people of my sexual orientation represented in my workplace.
I can walk in public with my significant other and not have people double-take or stare.
I can choose to not think politically about my sexual orientation.
I do not have to worry about telling my roommate about my sexuality. It is assumed I am a heterosexual.
I can remain oblivious of the language and culture of LGBTQ folk without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
I can go for months without being called straight.
I’m not grouped because of my sexual orientation.
My individual behavior does not reflect on people who identity as heterosexual.
In everyday conversation, the language my friends and I use generally assumes my sexual orientation. For example, sex inappropriately referring to only heterosexual sex or family meaning heterosexual relationships with kids.
People do not assume I am experienced in sex (or that I even have it!) merely because of my sexual orientation.
I can kiss a person of the opposite gender on the heart or in the cafeteria without being watched and stared at.
Nobody calls me straight with maliciousness.
People can use terms that describe my sexual orientation and mean positive things (IE “straight as an arrow”, “standing up straight” or “straightened out” ) instead of demeaning terms (IE “ewww, that’s gay” or being “queer” ) .
I am not asked to think about why I am straight.
I can be open about my sexual orientation without worrying about my job.
I don’t have to worry about some politicians trying to pass a law which tells me who I can and can’t marry, including at the national, Constitutional, level.
I know I won’t have any problems marrying the person I love.
I know that there will be no problems, as far as my orientation is concerned, in adopting a child;
I know that I will not be targeted by law enforcement for harassment due to my orientation;
I can be open about my orientation with out worrying about being denied housing;
I can walk down the street with my partner and hold hands and kiss without fear that I or my partner will be attacked and beaten, possibly even killed, because of our orientation.
I know that when I refer to my bf/gf/spouse, people will assume we aren’t together just for sex, but for love , and that our love is as real and legitimate as theirs for their significant others.
People do not automatically assume that I am shallow, weak, silly, on drugs or promiscuous because of my orientation.
People do not automatically assume I do not want children.
I will never be asked to hide my partner until after the grandparents die.
People will not mentally assign me a career (e.g., the str8 versions of florist, party planner, interior decorator, hair dresser, etc., etc.) because of my orientation.
People (advertisers and marketers aside) will not assume I am like everyone else of my orientation and will treat me like an individual human being.
When a family emergency occurs, I am able to hold my partner’s hand while they are in pain.
If my partner dies, I am able to inherit the property we owned together without pentalty of law.
I will never have to explain where my children came from, or who’s children they “really” are.
I will never told that I’m too pretty to be gay.
I will never be asked to “tone it down” to make other people feel more comfortable.
I will never be told that I am “too straight”
I will be able to shop in whatever store I choose without being told, “this section isn’t for you.”
I will never be told that who I am can be beaten or raped out of me.

What are your thoughts? How does this make you feel? Is there anything we missed?

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FREE GED program at Henry Street Settlement!

by Meg Ten Eyck on September 28, 2011

Are you 18 to 24? Unemployed? No GED or HS Diploma? If this sounds like you or someone you know, then you or they may qualify for a FREE program at Henry Street Settlement!

PROJECT RISE is a yearlong program for young adults, ages 18-24, who do not have their GED or high school diploma, and are not currently working or affiliated with any other educational or training program. The goal of PROJECT RISE is to equip participants with the skills necessary to overcome their current life barriers, both real and perceived.

The program offers:

• GED/Basic Literacy and Math and additional educational resources;
•Up to six week work readiness training, focused on identifying career goals, conflict resolution, work/life balance, interpersonal communication, interviewing skills, and resume building workshops;
•Paid internship placements where participants work for up to 15 hours a week for up to 18 weeks. Sites include law offices, media companies, community based organizations, child care centers, and hospitality opportunities;
•Individual counseling and case management services;
•A guided transition into unsubsidized employment; and
•Access to Expanding Horizons, our in-house college prep program, for assistance with the college application process after GED is achieved;

Call 212-254-3100 or 347-504-2441 or drop by 301 Henry Street or 367 Madison St in New York, NY.

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Scholarships for LGBT Youth

by Meg Ten Eyck on September 28, 2011

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20 Ideas for GSAs and LGBT inclusive events.

by Meg Ten Eyck on September 20, 2011

1. LGBT Movie Night
3. Plan a Pride Dance or go to a LGBTQ dance in your area
5. Create a Coalition.
6. Creating Signs and Banners

7. Participate in Pride Events

8. Host a Drag Show
9. Host a Lavendar Graduation
10. Plan or go to local rallies, student protests, or lobbying events
11. Host The Day of Silence, National Coming-Out Day, Ally Week, and Transgender Day of Remembrance
12. Host a webinar

13. Host a panel discussion

14. Partner with the other clubs to promote World AIDS Day.

15. Hold a Rally for Transgender Day of Remembrance.

16. Host Workshops

17. Set up a Teacher’s Training Day.

18. Honor Harvey Milk Day

19. Conduct a school survey

20. Support local LGBT events

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LGBT Historical Figures

by Meg Ten Eyck on September 20, 2011

Alexander the Great, Macedonian ruler

Horatio Alger, Jr., US author, founder of orphanages

Hans Christian Anderson, Danish author

Susan B. Anthony, US suffragist

Francis Bacon, English statesman, author

James Baldwin, US author

Ruth Benedict, US anthropologist

Leonard Bernstein, US composer

Lord Bryon, English poet

Julius Caesar, Roman Emperor

Willa Cather, US author

Jean Cocteau, French author, filmmaker

Noel Coward, English author, composer

Leonardo da Vinci, Italian artist, inventor

Madame de Stael, French writer

Emily Dickinson, US poet

Desiderius Erasmus, Dutch monk, philosopher

E.M. Forster, English author

Frederick the Great, King of Prussia

Margaret Fuller, US writer, educator

Hadrian, Roman Emperor

Langston Hughes, US author

John Maynard Keynes, English economist

Charles Laughton, English actor

T.E. Lawrence, English soldier, author

Liberace, US Musician

Federico Garcia Lorca, Spanish poet, dramatist

Audre Lorde, US author

Amy Lowell, US poet

Christopher Marlowe, English writer

Herman Melville, US author

Michelangelo, Italian artist

Harvey Milk, San Francisco supervisor

Yukio Mishima, Japanese author

Montezuma II, Aztec ruler

Anais Nin, French author

Peter the Great, Russian czar

Plato, Greek philosopher

Cole Porter, US composer

Ma Rainey, US singer

Richard the Lion-Hearted, English king

Richard II, English king

Marlon Riggs, filmmaker

Eleanor Roosevelt, US stateswoman

Saladin, Sultan of Egypt, Syria

Sappho, Greek philosopher, poet

May Sarton, US author

Gertrude Stein, US author, poet

Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky, Russian composer

Alice B. Toklas, US author

Wu Tsao, Chinese poet

Alan Turing, English mathematician

Andy Warhol, US artist

Walt Whitman, US author, poet

Oscar Wilde, Irish author

Tennessee Williams, US playwright

Virginia Woolf, English author

Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, Los Angeles

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“TALK TO ME” and Save a Life

by Meg Ten Eyck on September 1, 2011

We live in the “digital era” where “unlimited texting” outweighs “talk time” by a mile. I remember what it was like back in the dark days when I had to remember phone numbers and use a land-line phone. Now, if you aren’t connected to me by text, Gchat, or Facebook you might as well not exist.

Digital communication has it’s flaws, but the positive side is the amount of connections at our fingertips. Without the Internet, and without our cell phones I would feel completely isolated any time I was alone or not in my home. When you are a young person coming into your gender or sexual identity the last thing you should be feeling is isolated and alone. For the first time in history young people can connect with others like them around the globe, even if their homes or communities are non-accepting.

For National Suicide Prevention Week, The Trevor Project is launching “Talk To Me.” They are asking everyone to identify themselves as someone people can go to if they need to talk.

Youth across America will be creating “Talk To Me” t-shirts, and adding the “Talk To Me” badges to their social networks so that anyone “I.R.L.” or online will know that they can go to them to talk if they need to.

Please take some time today to take the pledge and add the badge to your Facebook or Twitter profile. Last year and continuing around the globe today tragic deaths are happening because people feel helpless or hopeless. For National Suicide Prevention Week make an extra effort to reach out to friends who may be going through a rough time. It could be that simple to help someone who is in crisis.

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What is Suicide Contagion?

by Meg Ten Eyck on August 30, 2011

Research has shown a link between certain kinds of publicity about suicide, and increases in deaths by suicide—known as suicide contagion. Suicide contagion occurs in about five percent of deaths by suicide, but since the recent media publicity I thought a small refresher course on contagion may be necessary. Suicide contagion is not an “epidemic” and generally occurs among people who are already depressed and contemplating suicide.

Contagion may occur when:

• The number of media stories about individual suicides increases.

• An individual death is reported in detail across many stories.

• Coverage of a suicide death is a cover story or at the top of a newscast.

• The headlines about specific suicide deaths are framed dramatically (e.g.,“Bullied Gay Teen Commits Suicide by Hanging”)

Research also shows that risk of suicide contagion can be reduced when media report on suicide in a responsible way. To learn how to prevent contagion see “How to Safely Talk About Suicide”

Adapted from Talking About Suicide & LGBT Populations which is based on empirically-derived best practices for discussing suicide safely and responsibly and supported by:

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation

Movement Advancement Project

Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network

The Trevor Project Trevor Lifeline: 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386)

Human Rights Campaign 

National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays

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How to safely talk about LGBT Suicide

by Meg Ten Eyck on August 27, 2011

Here are some tips for ways to discuss suicide while reducing the risk for suicide contagion in LGBT young people.

Do’s

DO become a reminder to the community that everyone in our society has a responsibility to uphold a culture that welcomes, accepts and affirms Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender people.
DO encourage help-seeking behaviors for people who may be experiencing stress and other mental health issues. Put an emphasis on resources and educational tools available to the community.
DO know the number for suicide prevention lifelines such as The Trevor Project 1-866- 4U-Trevor and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK
DO center conversations on addressing anti-LGBT harassment—but frame the dialogue in ways that do not increase contagion risk.
DO list the warning signs, as well as risk and protective factors of suicide.
DO highlight effective treatments for underlying mental health problems. “Over 90 percent of those who die by suicide suffer from a significant psychiatric illness, substance abuse disorder or both at the time of their death.”
DO emphasize the role of the family—not just as a protective factor against suicide but as an important part of the strategy to nurturing the emotional well-being of LGBT and questioning youth.

Don’ts

DON’T assume that suicide is a logical consequence of bullying. Bullying does not equal suicide. LGBT young people are at higher risk for victimization and harassment then straight young people, but unfortunately bullying is a commonplace occurrence in our culture. Most people who experience bullying do not attempt suicide.
DON’T over emphasize the connection between bullying and suicide it may lead to at-risk youth seeing their own experiences in the story of those who have died and make them more likely to think of suicide as a possible solution to the issues they are having.
DON’T assume that everyone young person who experiences anti- LGBT bullying is in fact LGBT. Lots of young people who identify as straight are thought to be LGBT and are victims of harassment.
DON’T use the term “bullycide.”, “epidemic”, successful,” “unsuccessful” or “failed” when talking about suicide these words have been shown to increase risk for suicide contagion.
DON’T include specific details of a suicide death. This can contribute to a contagion effect.
DON’T describe the method used in a suicide death. Research shows that descriptions of a person’s suicide death can be a factor duplicating the act by already vulnerable populations
DON’T assume that any single action “caused” the person to complete suicide. Suicide is a very complex issue that cannot be contributed to a single event. Doing this may lead to an increase in contagion for vulnerable people who have had similar experiences.
DON’T romanticize suicide victims or turn them into a celebrity. Research indicates that “idealizing people who have died by suicide may encourage others to identify with the victim or seek to emulate them.”

Resources:

Adapted from Talking About Suicide & LGBT Populations which is based on empirically-derived best practices for discussing suicide safely and responsibly and supported by:

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation

Movement Advancement Project

Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network

The Trevor Project Trevor Lifeline: 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386)

Human Rights Campaign 

National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays

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10 Ways to Support a Friend Coming Out

by Meg Ten Eyck on August 27, 2011

It is difficult to know what to say and do to be a supportive friend to someone who has “come out” to you.

Here are some suggestions:

Don’t judge your friend. If you have strong beliefs about gayness, keep them to yourself. LGB people who come from rejecting communities are 8 times as likely to attempt suicide. The risk for depression and suicide is elevated directly before and after coming out. Be aware of what you are saying and educate yourself.
Respect your friend’s confidentiality. They may not be ready to talk to others about their identity. You should let them disclose this information themselves, when they are ready. If your friend seems afraid about people knowing, there may be a good reason. People are sometimes attacked violently because they are perceived as LGB. Some people are kicked out of their homes after coming out and others attempt suicide. Also, sometimes people are discriminated against in such things as housing and employment. NEVER “out” a person, this can have very dangerous consequences.
Make sure your friend knows that you still care about them and support them. One of the many fears people have is that they will lose their friends and family. Maintain your relationship as you always have and remember, this person trusted you with an intimate detail of their life, clearly they think highly of you.
They may feel awkward or uncomfortable, follow their lead and try to make them feel comfortable.
Ask any questions you may have, but understand that your friend may not have all the answers. Most schools do not teach about LGBT issues, remember, your friend is not the “spokes person for all people who ever lived who are gay”. You can save some questions for later or, better yet, you can find some of the answers together.
Be prepared to include your friend in more of your plans. They may have lost the support of other friends and family, and your time and friendship will be even more important to them. This may include “family” times like holidays or special celebrations.
Check on your friend frequently during the time right after your friend has come out to you. This will let them know you are still friends.
Do what you have always done together. Your friend probably feels that coming out will change everything in their life, and this is frightening. Remember, they are still the same person.
Learn about the LGB community. This will allow you to better support your friend, and knowing about their world will help prevent you from drifting apart.
Don’t allow your friend to become isolated. Let them know about organizations and places where they can meet other LGB people or supportive allies.

Adapted from a flyer by the Youth Service Bureau of Wellington, Ottawa distributed by UC Riverside LGBT Resource Center Revised 08/11.

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Discrimination in LGBT Higher Education

by Meg Ten Eyck on August 25, 2011

Check out this amazing article by The Center for American Progress on the discrimination of LGBT people applying for financial aid. The article is an introduction to the hardships that many people face while going through college in a heteronormative world.

LGBT Discrimination in Higher Education Financial Aid

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